ABOUT FACE

For months, I have vicariously enjoyed the "coolness" that is Facebook, my cubicle mate Sam has had a ball catching up with friends past, present and future -- their posts of old pictures and other reminisces...I have giggled and oohed right along with her...not considering what/who I might find, or who might find me... if I too joined "the Face" (my new nickname for it..you like?).

After hearing an idea I had for a novel, Sam (who is also my "reading/writing buddy") gave me an assignment... join Facebook. The thought was that it would give me a link to so much "historical" information relevant to this crazy book idea I have...and, I knew she was right.

After I joined and got the first Friend Acceptance Notification and the first Friend Request... and found my long lost step siblings...and got in contact with KIARA and saw all those old photos... lawd, I was hooked after that!

This addiction is a little different from my previous Myspace addiction, because I was more so addicted to the artistic elements, adding slideshows, music, videos, and backgrounds, whereas with Facebook things appear to be more straightforward. I love the constant activity and millions of possible ways to track down old friends; by day 2 or 3 I already had a solid 20 friends (52 less than a week later), and most of them were from high school or college!

I was able to see who had gotten married, who had babies, who lived where, who went back to school, who has been traveling...I am even able to KIT with my husband's fam in Barbados!

Between Skype and Facebook... I've been having a blast! Flu and all! ...Adriane is...wondering if I could set up a Facebook/Skype intravenous drip? TECHNOLOGY...GOTTA LOVE IT!

READ MORE

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to READ MORE.

I do a lot of reading with the children and a lot of reading for work, but I rarely have the time or mental fortitude to read simply for PLEASURE.

This desire to be consumed by a good book has been slowly rising to the surface over the last few months of 2008, I’ve tamped it down each time by reading something with Zen or flipping through a magazine, but the crescendo came while vacationing in Barbados.

With all that “FREE time”, no work, no taxiing to and fro, no demands, I actually had the OPPORTUNITY to READ (not listen to) a whole novel from cover to cover and experience the bliss that has been gurgling up for a while now. The book of choice was Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns and though I hate reading books out of sequence, I proceeded to do so with this one and was hooked in no time! The first night, I read at least 15 chapters, and another one as I woke up the next morning and each night I read despite the mosquitoes buzzing loudly over hear or the invitations to go out … I was completely ensconced, transported to Kabul, I was no longer in Barbados, I was in Kabul, I saw Kabul, smelled Kabul, tasted Kabul…I was Miriam’s neighbor, I was the fly on Laila’s bedroom wall, I was Tarik’s leg and Rasheed’s belt. Now, some will read this book and wonder why I was so enthralled with it, perhaps the book will not have the same magic to another reader, maybe it will…for me, it matters not! What does matter to me is that again a door that had slowly inched closed has been thrusted open once more and have begun to pursue this escape yet again.

I will no longer allow myself to use the excuse of no time and no energy, I will use the tools afforded my to experience this escape...for cryin out loud I work in a library and audiobooks are the perfect tool for a wandering mind…so far I’ve been able to “read” The House at Sugar Beach (Helene Cooper), The Brief and Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao (Junot Diaz), A Thousand Splendid Suns(Khaled Hosseini), and Eat, Pray, Love (Elizabeth Gilbert)next God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy), Life of Pi , Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)…the sky’s the limit!

FW: Because I wish you a happy new fiscal year!

Subject: Because I wish you a happy new fiscal year!

Seven Habits for a
Financially Fit New Year

Personal character is made of habits and habits come in two varieties: good and bad. The secret to learning good habits or breaking bad ones is found in conscious repetition. To create a habit, you must repeat an action over and over again until it becomes a natural response. To break a habit, you must to create a new one or choose not to do something over and over until it becomes a natural response.

Want to become more financially responsible? Consciously focus on the following practices. Repeat them over and over until they become natural responses. Before you know it, these will be your habits, too.

Habit 1. Regularly balance your accounts. Financially responsible people calculate a current balance in their checkbook or online account after every transaction. They know where they are at all times.

Habit 2. Save money consistently. Financially responsible people do not spend all the money they have and then rely on credit. They always save some and they do it first, before they pay anyone else.

Habit 3. Think first and spend later. This is the habit that keeps financially responsible people from spending money they don't have. They do not buy things impulsively. They make lists, weigh the consequences, wait for sales and above all, exercise self-control.

Habit 4. Focus on the real price. Financially responsible people see through the come-ons, marketing hype and financing options. They know how to calculate the bottom line. If they can afford the full price, fine. If not, they are not interested in monthly payments.

Habit 5. Know your financial condition. Financially responsible people know within a few bucks the current balance on their mortgage, their investment accounts and other assets. They make decisions based on how their net worth will be affected.

Habit 6. Refuse unsecured debt. Financially responsible people shun debt of all kinds, but especially unsecured debt. If they have secured, i.e. mortgage debt, they repay it rapidly.

Habit 7. Make principle-based decisions. Financially responsible people make financial decisions based on principles, not feelings. They know their feelings are fickle and can change.

Experts in human behavior say it takes 21 repetitions to break a bad habit or to establish a new habit. That means if you do something every day, after three weeks it will become a nearly automatic response, a habit. Continue for another 21 days and you will have established a life-long habit. It takes just six weeks to change your life.
It is possible to learn good habits and unlearn bad ones, even those that are deeply ingrained. It's all a matter of choice and determination!

Return of the Crazies

Return of the Crazies

I’ve only been back in the country for a few days now and already I can feel that old familiar tightening in my chest!

How I long for those lazy days of book reading and sitting on the sand staring at the sea.

I can still feel the amazing breeze and the sprinkle of the daily rain shower tickling my face as I nap (with one eye open of course, mother’s never really go on vacation).

Yesterday wasn’t so bad, but today more than made up for it. Each of us forgot something at home for Tafara it was her backpack…I forgot Tafara’s immunization forms…God knows what Zen forgot…Lion is too little to forget, etc…so I went back home to retrieve everything and used the opportunity to catch up on a few things…long story short got to work after 11AM…been flying by the seat of my pants ever since!

Came back to work yesterday in time to run a grant application workshop for which no materials had been prepped (my fault)…by last night, I was too pooped to get anything done ergo…the CRAZIES this morning!

So many people commented about how great I looked yesterday (rested and refreshed)…no such commentary today…wonder why?!

COMING TO A CLOSE...

Our vacation is rapidly dissapating...there are only two days left until we are snatched from this comfortable existence and thrust back into the insanity of our daily lives.
I have had a blast...though I didnt paint the town red even at the encouragement of a variety of family friends... I have had a great time just taking it slow...
I have savored the warmth and loving vibe of Simon's friends and extended family and basked in the glow of his siblingss interaction with the children.
I have soaked up the sights, memorized the flavors of some of the best eats I've had in a while and have committed to never let such an expanse of time pass between visits ever again.
Simon says that this trip has made him more focused on the things we need to do in order to move forward...while I share that feeling of renewal, I have also become aware of the fact that I would like to travel more and make more of an effort to keep in contact with friends and family here...to keep the children connected to their Bajan roots as well as give them a broader view of the world... we have had a wonderful time and will no doubt take the memories of our visit with with us as we cross the threshold of our vacation back into our every day...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Well folks, we made it ....there's nothing like the change of the calendar year to make you feel like starting anew. We reflect on the year gone by and make mental notes of all the the things we could have done differently and hope to do differently next go around. Some people make resolutions religiously and break them with the same vigor with which they were made...others curse the concept and keep on going down the same road...I confess that I have been both overzealous and apathetic...but this year, I plan to sit down with my family and create family goals complete with attainable action steps. The goals will fall under three broad areas i.e.:health, wealth and wisdom. I then intend to post those goals so that we can chart our progress as we... progress :)... I think we better ge started while we're here and free from the hustle and bustle of our daily state side existence...nothing takes the wind out of your sail like having to go to work and tote the kids hither and yon and pay the bills and well you know where this is heading...this year I really crave the feeling of being organized. I remember what that used to feel like..I crave structure for my household and my children...all while putting an end this free fall that is my life...I crave some direction...I want to pare down on possessions, body fat and emotional baggage...I want to have a plan instead of just moving from day to day simply because... this year I want to answer the question....WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING WITH THIS THING? at any rate HAPPY NEW YEAR ...we'll keep you posted!

BOXING DAY

While we dont celebrate Bxng Day in the states, we celebrated it today first by visiting Aunt Boo and Aunt Pop...walking to the beach for a dip in not so calm seas (P.S. they surf in Barbados...I saw why today)... then going to Auntie Claudette's house for the Annual Boxing Day feast (as Zenze would say). We had a great time! More GREAT food and GREAT company! The children are tuckered out yet again!

A Caribbean Christmas

There was a slight nagging sensation on the days preceding Christmas Eve, but I couldnt quite figure out what was going on...I just assumed that I was still trying to settle in and get organized before Christmas, but by the morning of December 24th I has gone into a full fledged panic...for the past eight years every Christmas had been spent in Port Saint Lucie, Florida at my mother and stepfather's house. My motherhas painstakingly decorated the Christmas tree and gone to the trouble of buying candy canes and pies and hot chocolate to make the season resemble the Christmas of TV Land lore (i.e. warm as if we were in someplace where snow was possible.). This Christmas would obviousl be different, but how different. The panic set in, which isn't unusual since I am usually panicked about one thing or another, usually its about the presents and whether the children would feel the Christmas spirit being so far from home!
I decided to calm down and let it unravel on its own...Luckily my sister-in-law, Katharine, had the brilliant idea to invite the kids over to her house to create decorate her Chrismas tree...instead of a traditional Christmas tree, we continued her and her roomate Angie's "tradition" and spray painted a series of tree branches metallic silver...added lights and decorations....voila! a Christmas tree...the giirls were mighty proud...Lion had been shipped off with his father so that I was able to fully concentrate on tghe matter at hand without interruption and worry of him impaling, blugeoning, or nearly killing himself or someone else (we mothers alwaya have to cover all the bases) I hear tell that he ended up at a beach side cafe with his father and thereby his cousin Alex, who fell in love with him immediately!
Katharine and I eventually escaped to her room to wrap presents while Angie engaged the girls in preparing pick-up saltfish for the next day's brunch. We eventually made it home for a dinner of curry chicken and jasmine rice prepared by Simon (so you know that it was GREAT) and once the youngsters were in bed Zenze and I skyped the Fullers and wrapped presents while we filled them in on our vacation thus far, prior to this Zen had confided that this didnt really feel like Christmas...but after we wrapped her aunt and uncles gifts...she went to bed peacefully.
The next day the kids slept in for the first time ever on Christmas and I awoke to an eerie silence...in my mind I had imaged people partying in the street, music blaring, noise and laughter...a Caribbean Christmas as I had known it in my youth, alas I remembered that Bajans tend to be a bit more reserved and thus my imagination had somehow conglomerated the carnival stylecelebrations of Trinidadians and Brazilians with a touch of V.I. ready-to- party-ness. The children eventually woke up, opened some presents, and prepared to go to breakfast at their aunt's house...
ALL IN ALL the day turned out to be so good! We had a great breakfast, we got to see Simon's friend Andrew Pilgrim ( BTW-I love his parents, especially his mother "Auntie Grace") and his wife, Bertha (who I had not met). Hang out with Matthew (always fun), give out presents, meet Angies family, her brother and his wife and children who were visiting from CA. Her parents who were very nice, spend time with Kathatrine (always a joy)...taste Adam's ham (yum yum)...all before driving over to Simon's cousin Peggy's house for lunch!
This morning Simon said it best when he said..."We ate some good food yesterday!", no lie, we did indeed, because tghe spread at Peggy's house was amazing and delicious...two of my favorite dishes...macaroni pie and West Indian potato salad...OMG...add to that flying fish, green slad and my new fave simply called "jug" and dont forget the sorrell...too good. But, beyond all of the eating (which you know is a big deal, obviously) was the opportunity to spend time with Simon's family and friends, his cousin Peggy, her husband Barton, and their children Ayja, Rhea and joshua were all very nice and welcoming. I got to see Alex and Claire (whose newborn son Noah was too sweet and reminded us how quickly the children grow up), their parents Oscar and Marsha and meet their brother Julian, his wife, Nicole, and sons Dominic and Marcus. I got to see Hope and Natalie, took photos of the children with Simon's uncle Lancie...the list could go on and on...We also participated in a family tradtion that I think will crystallize this Christmas in the girls mind forever, the singing of "DRINK A RUM" as modified by the family to highlight events of the past year, including our visit to Barbados...it was great! I think Lion will also remember this Christmas a s the day he was allowed to run wild with his cousins, slither through dirt, and terrorize the famiy's seven cats to the point of exhaustion (the cats' not his)...his clothes are the true testimony of the fun he had.
So while this Christmas had a different vibe...it turned out to be another version of Christmas that was equally as enjoyable for a variety of reasons, but mostly because my children learned that Christmas is more than getting presents and Santa Claus...it about time well spent hugging and kissing and being hugged and kissed by relatives who had longed to do so for years, for giving vs. getting presents and for enjoying the beauty of the world outside of 33069>34952>FL>USA! I think we are ready to take this Christmas show on the road...lets start planning for next year!

TRUELY A VACATION!

Waking up and going to sleep on Barbados have both been a pleasure. Perhaps it is the firmness of my brother-in-laws mattress or the fact that I have been staying awake so late at night, or better yet perhaps it is the fact that I have left all worries behind in FLORIDA...that has allowed me to catch up on som much needed rest! We have been here for four days, we've gone to the beach twice, we have seen all of my husbands beauiful siblings with the exception of his youngest sister Rachel, who was at the beach while the kids and I stopped by her mom's house and ate up all of their food!
We have visited Simon's 94 year old great aunt "Aunt Boo" (truely a genuine spirit) and his "Aunt Pop" whose Alzheimers has relegated her to bed, unlike my first visit years ago when she was up and about, obviously suffering from confusion but cheerful nonetheless!
We've visited Aunt Yo at her beautiful-just- my-style-home with her "Caribbean Christmas tree"- a palm tree elegantly decorated with silver and white ornaments...and Simon's Auntie Claudette who we will see again on Boxing Day - I hear that the food is top notch!
Today Zen and Tafi helped Angie train her exuberant 8 month old Rottweiler puppy "Wolf" and I hear that they were quite the assistants!
Zen lost a tooth today and wonders about the tooth fairy finding the tooth...
Lion waas found guilty of coloring with marker on Uncle Adam's seafoam green microfiber couch...Tafara was an accessory but was released on her own recognances after lots of tears and tesimony by her older sister who suggested that while Tafara had been careless with the markers, she would never intentionally color on the couch, while it was competely on Lion's character (and age group) to do so....
Tomorrow, we hope to get up and out early for an early morning drive to Morgan Lewis and we also will create a Chistmas tree for Auntie Katharine and Angie's house!
TIL NEXT TIME

WE PULLED IT OFF Y'ALL!

I write to you today with a certain sense of accomplishment! At approximately 11:45 PM last night my husband and I with our three bambinos en tow arrived at the Grantley Adams International Airport in Bridgetown, Barbados! It took some doing but we made it without any major incidents (a few threats here and there, a couple of forgotten items...really important things...but we are here and that is all that matters!)
So some of you may be thinking..."Its great that you made it safe but whats all this accomplishment talk about?" Well, let me tell you! Until you have packed for a 16 day international trip for five people (with limited baggage in your possession), completed shopping lists, baked and delivered a few dozen cookies for teachers/teachers assistants, attempted something like cleaning but failed to actually clean the house before leaving on vacation, forgot to pack swim diapers and your ATM card among other things certain to reveal themselves at a later time...ALL OF THIS, yet you still manage to find yourself still exceedingly happy to be among family and friends...I'd say that is indeed quite an accomplishment!
Everything was worth it to see my husband with his siblings and to see my children excited to be with their uncles and aunts...watching Lion was particularly rewarding, especially as he was scooped up into his Uncle Archie's lap and kissed and hugged and how natural this seemed...no hesitation or apprehension, he exuded pure joy, like he had known him his whole life and had been looking for him! It was beautiful! I AM SURE THAT WE WILL REMEMBER THIS TRIP FOREVER!!!

Stay tuned...photos and updates to come!

BEEN SO LONG!

Boy does time fly!!! Its been well over a month since I've blogged...I've longed to do so, but between the struggle to remain upbeat in a tanking economy, maintain a thriving relationship with my hubby, keep my kids moving forward, prepare for upcoming travels and pursue love (of many things), I havent made the time to sit and sort my thoughts into coherant, tangible, and dare I say entertaining commentary...we've been living, things have been happening, and we are THANKFUL for all that we've come through and grow through!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING...I wont be a stranger!

NPR's This American Life: The Harlem Children's Zone

Re-thinking Urban Poverty...Proving it Takes A Village!!!
NPR's This American Life

This 30-minute segment focuses on the beginning of HCZ's "pipeline" of services: The Baby College. It is an intimate look at how HCZ's work is transforming the lives of families and helping to break the cycle of generational poverty.

Culture Scout Blog: The Future is Now

Culture Scout Blog: The Future is Now

HARD WORK PAYS OFF...IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

Few things are more important to me than making sure that the kids are equipped with a strong academic foundation and the knowledge that they will be rewarded for hard work! This summer we worked on reading and writing and it shows...the girls both won their school's Golden Pencil Award this week!! This award is given for good penmanship and story writing...proof that whatever you put into the kids you get out of them...GOTTA GET CRACKIN ON THAT MATH!!!

YOU KNOW YOUR KID IS AN ARTIST WHEN

Beside the obvious clues...YOU KNOW YOUR KID IS AN ARTIST WHEN they live to CREATE...the only thing that calms them down is the opportunity to dance, sing, write, draw, color or paint....or when the thought of not doing any of the above (...on account of a flipped card...kindergarten-speak for a reprimand) sends them into a state of shock...so much so that they go to bed without a fight!

YEARS GONE BY...

I remember the day Zen was born as if it were yesterday...but it wasn't yesterday...it was eight years ago this past Tuesday!!!! I can't believe it. I remember how I couldn't believe it when we celebrated her first birthday or her fifth and now she's eight! All mothers feel this and I dont know why I feel so surprised to feel the same mix of emotions. I'm happy because she is healthy, smart, funny, beautiful, talented, and the list goes on ...but I also a little twinge of terror mixed in with a touch of sadness. Horror because I know that things will probably only get more attitudinal from this point on and sad because she's not a baby anymore and I cant take her opinion for granted the way I did when she was two and I dressed her up the way I saw fit. I'm also proud that she tends to be more of a leader than a follower...this is very important to me, case in point, she wanted an MP3 player for her birthday, so we got it for her...we all wondered what she would want to load on it...my mom suggested Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, Chris Brown, Jordin Sparks...the popular bubble gum cast of this era. While I knew she was interested in them, I wasnt sure whether she was interested enough to include them on her list...when I finally asked her she said, "Mommy, no, I'm not all into them like that...that's not real music, its ok to watch but, who wants to listen to that all day?" No offense to anyone who's "all into them like that" but she really made me proud! When I continued the inquiry she requested: Sergio Mendes, India Aire, Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend, Queen, ABBA, Norah Jones and Carole King!!! BOOM BABY! That's what I'm talkin' about! Its amazing how much influence you can have in eight years! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZENZELE!

BACK TO SCHOOL BLUES...Its not what you think!

If you live in South Florida, then chances are your child's first day of school was delayed by the arrival of Tropical Storm Fay. While scores of teachers, students and even some parents welcomed this the summer's "stay of execution" others moaned terrible moans, gnashed their terrible teeth and even rolled their terrible eyes a la Maurice Sendak's wild things.

The Clarke girls learned of this terrible injustice after returning home from their back to school beauty makeover and were quite dismayed that they would likely not be as glamorous as they were on Sunday when school finally opened. Zen tried to put on a brave face but she was obviously shaken by the travesty, she finally uttered "Of all the days why did she have to come on the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! I can't take it. Tafara on the other hand wanted to know whether there would be a flood...this is her standard inquiry during thunderstorms, she also added, I'd rather go to Kindergarten than be in a flood.

So Fay came and went without any damage to our neck of the woods although some areas experienced a loss of power, flooding and excessive wind. School statred two days later.

Simon was happy because he got his wish...two days off of work, rain and wind...no damage.

My emotions were mixed, I love the first day of school, but I appreciated the time off from work to focus on getting everything finalized for the BIG DAY (I get sooo excited!!!).

Though I'm sorry that the summer has come to an end (THIS WAS MY BEST SUMMER EVER THANKS TO THE APPROVAL OF MY MODIFIED SCHEDULE -- Shout out to Jim, Jody and Mary :) ), the first day of school is the beginning of another adventure - Tafara is in BIG GIRL SCHOOL aka Kindergarten and Zen is in 3rd grade which is a big deal since they are the oldest kids on the east portion of the campus, their classrooms are upstairs and now they'll be taking the FCAT...everybody say "oooh" :).

All in all...I'm glad that they were disappointed about the first day being delayed...especially since all the other smart kids I know felt the same way!!!

I DONT DO SHOUT OUTS...BUT IF I DID

There is a segment on the Tom Joyner Morning Show where he says I DON'T DO SHOUT OUTS...BUT IF I DID and he would proceed to “SHOUT OUT” friends and family members etc.

Taking that lead...

Even though my blog is not necessarily dedicated to giving shout outs….I must give PROPS to my niece Hadiya who is a Freshman at Spelman and who just called to say that her tuition is PAID for the next four years…as she is a Dean’s Scholar!!!! I AM MIGHTY PROUD!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!

REMEMBERING THE LAST LECTURE

Like most of you who have seen, heard or read Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture, I was inspired to try to make the most of every moment and to leave a legacy for my children who will hopefully outlive me. My decision to finally start writing this blog was inspired in part by his lecture, which shifted my focus from the fear of dying (that's a whole other entry)to the business of living. We lost Mr. Pausch today but we are sure to remember him forever for his unfathomable display of bravery and grace even in the face of his impending death.

THANK YOU MR. PAUSCH YOUR FAMILY AND NOW MY FAMILY WAS BLESSED TO HAVE HAD YOU IN THE WORLD!

PEACE BEGINS WITH US

My friend Keachia's email signature says Peace begins with me, simple enough right?! Such a simple sentiment has really resonated with me this summer. Before the summer began Pakistan was just a place that the kids heard mention of on NPR and Mas que nada was just the title of a Sergio Mendes song. Since the beginning of the summer my children and I have met so many families from Brazil, the Middle East, Haiti, other parts of the US, the Caribbean and a number of families from Spanish speaking countries, that so many more things have been given a new meaning.

Living in SoFl, it is not so strange to have intercultural experiences after all my neighbors downstairs are Brazilian, Peruvian and Puerto Rican! My children have always gone to very culturally diverse schools, but this summer I found myself going out of my way to make contact through meaningful conversation and it ultimately struck me...If we all took the time and made deliberate effort to connect with people from around the world we could start a chain reaction and possibly eradicate the ease with whichwe engage in warfare. If people in Washington knew Ali and his family personally, they probably would be less likely to drop bombs in his grandmother's backyard...and maybe the international community wouldnt have such a negative perception of Americans...hmmm, thats a thought!

I recognize that not only does Peace BEGIN with me it is my RESPONSIBILITY to plant the seed and nurture it so that future generations reap the benefits.